Not Fitting In Was Never the Problem. It Was the Point.

The Premise

I never learned the trick of blending in, and by the time I realised it was supposed to be a skill, I’d already built a life that didn’t require it. People call it nonconformity as if it’s a hobby you pick up at weekends; for me it’s more like a spine — remove it and nothing stands.

The Myth of Belonging

We’re sold belonging like it’s a public utility: queue here, follow that, wear this, smile on schedule. It’s efficient, I’ll grant you, but it also asks for a quiet death by degrees. I’m autistic, I’m anxious in crowds, I prefer truth neat and unvarnished; if there’s a mould, I usually meet it with a hammer. Not because I enjoy being contrary, but because the standard settings were never designed with me in mind.

What “Point” Looks Like in Practice

Not fitting in is not rebellion for rebellion’s sake. It’s picking the tools that actually work, even when they’re unfashionable. It’s writing books that refuse tidy categories, producing music with AI voices because the art matters more than the optics, choosing solitude because it clears the noise and lets the work breathe. It’s saying no to rooms that demand you leave your edges at the door.

The Cost (Which I Pay, Happily)

Yes, it can be lonely. Yes, some people assume “difficult” when you simply mean “different.” Doors close. Others open, the sort built for hands rather than herds. The real loss would be sanding yourself down to fit through the wrong doorway.

The Upside (Which Is the Whole Game)

When you stop auditioning for acceptance, you find leverage. You get time back. You write in your own cadence, share only what’s true, and build a small audience of people who read with their lights on. That’s the point: not to be liked by everyone, but to be understood by the right ones.

A Simple Rule

If the choice is between fitting in and staying honest, I’ll take honesty. Every time. The world can keep its dress code; I’ll keep my voice.

You don’t need permission to be built differently. You need practice at being built honestly.